Budgets Are Sexy

Haha… I got this comment on my “living in a Hotel” post from last year, and it’s freakin’ cracking me up! I totally want to be this guy 40 years from now :)  Well, minus his mortgage – if I still have one of those I’m gonna punch myself in a face.  But I sure like the way he thinks!  Gives yesterday’s mansion talk a run for it’s money ;)

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I found your blog after a friend sent me the following and I googled “living in a Hotel.” I’m 71 and still very active… it would suit me down to the ground. To all of you approaching 50 – What a brilliant idea. Where to live when you retire!!! No NURSING HOME FOR me!!! No nursing home for us. We’ll be checking into a Holiday Inn!

With the average cost for a nursing home care costing £188.00 per day, there is a better way when we get old and too feeble. I’ve already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn. For a combined long term stay discount and senior discount, it’s £59.23 per night. Breakfast is included, and some have happy hours in the afternoon.

That leaves £128.77 a day for lunch and dinner in any restaurant we want, or room service, laundry, gratuities and special TV movies. Plus, they provide a spa, swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge and washer-dryer, etc. Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap. £5 worth of tips a day you’ll have the entire staff scrambling to help you.

Other perks:

• They treat you like a customer, not a patient.
• There’s a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free.
• The handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp).
• To meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays.
• For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there.
• While you’re at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.
• It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today.
• And you’re not stuck in one place forever — you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city.
• Want to see Hawaii? They have Holiday Inn there too.
• TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem… They fix everything, and apologise for the inconvenience.
• The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks to see if you are ok. If not, they’ll call an ambulance… or the undertaker. (hahahaha….)
• If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.
• And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to find you, and probably check in for a few days mini-vacation.

Also, if you “own” your home (ie its mortgaged to the bank) like I do, you can almost certainly rent it out for a lot more than your mortgage payments. In my case I pay £900 per month. The current going rate for my place as a rental is about £1800 per month, plus I would lose a lot of other expenses.

Even if I make only £1000 a month excess that still reduces my Holiday Inn bill to about £23 a night. Factor in all the stuff I’d sell (and at 71 I’ve got a LOT of stuff), the holiday costs I wouldn’t have (because Hawaii here I come) and the appreciation that will build up in the equity on my home which someone else will be paying for, and I’d make a profit and still have a lump sum in the house for when I can no longer “work out” or “invite chicks back to my room”.

I’ll let you know how it goes.

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Spunky!!!  Makes me have a bigger appreciation for Holiday Inns too, haha… Again, just another way of thinking outside the box and living differently than the “norm!”  Not saying that’s bad or good or anything, just that there are *other* ways to do things if our current plans aren’t working out to our liking ;)  And while I still dream of living in my own hotel one of these days, this one has most definitely been given the kabosh from the Mrs.

So we’re back to the good ol’ mansion or apartment searching again!  As long as the end result is us downgrading though, I’ll be as happy as a little blogger can be ;)

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(Photo by moonlightbulb)

Originally published at budgetsaresexy.com.