Budgets Are Sexy

Sometimes when you get home from work, all you want is a beer or glass of wine. Totally cool.  But if you plan on going out shopping afterward, a word to the wise:  BE CAREFUL! There’s nothing like a few drinks to get your wallet all loosey goosey.

And that’s exactly what happened to me the other night.  I wasn’t totally off my rocker, but I was buzzed enough to know I shouldn’t be out trying to put outfits together.  Not so much for the styles I’d end up with, but mainly because of the price tags!  When you’ve had a few you tend to think everything’s a bargain ;) And also that you “deserve it.” (usually you don’t – you’re just in a state of being easily convinced)

Luckily though, staying constrained to TJ Maxx can only get you in so much trouble. That, and the fact that you need a sober person to take you there since drinking and driving is bad bad bad!! So this means you have a partner in crime who can watch your back and veto any unnecessary, or simply foolish, purchases. I was rightfully denied a douche baggery Ed Hardy jacket (a term I absolutely can’t stand, but will use because of it’s incredibly exact description) and came away with only dropping 30 bucks.  Which isn’t too bad for a pair of jeans & a light ski jacket.

Other places besides TJ Maxx to stay clear of if you’ve been drinking:

• Casinos – Nothing ever good comes out of getting wasted at the poker tables or slots – that’s why they give you free beer/drinks all night long! They want you there nice and chipper so you can keep on dumping your cash all over the place. That doesn’t mean it’s not FUN to drink there (I find it fascinating), but better to go w/ a fine amount of cash and no credit or atm cards.
• Grocery stores. Unless you’re in that small minority of drinkers who don’t get the munchies, these places are huge no nos. Never ever go grocery shopping when you’re hungry! You will come back with way more food than you bargained for (or “not bargained” for, I should say), and usually more junk food that’s necessary.
• ANY ONLINE SITE. In particularly Amazon.com, eBay, and Overstock. You will want to spend like a crazy person! And lord knows on what.
• Strip clubs. This one should be obvious, but the more drunk you are the more chances you THINK you have with these ladies!  And big chances = big tips. I beg you, don’t do it ;)  Every little smile or wink can come across totally different when you’re drunk. These women are professionals, they know how to milk you.*
• Church? I add the question mark there because I’m not sure if it’s really that bad if you drop more cash than you mean at the church offerings? :)  Great for your congregation, but not so great for going over budget.  Then again, this entire situation is probably moot considering you’re already naughty for showing up drunk to begin with.

Did I miss any? There are a ton of places in general not to go when you’re buzzed (job interviews, police stations, the houses of ex’s) but in terms of wasting money I think those are the biggies. We do a fine job of wasting our money sober, we sure don’t need any more help in that department.

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*If you can believe it, I’m actually one of the few breeds of males left who can’t stand strip clubs.  The idea of paying to be tempted makes no sense to me whatsoever.  Plus, those places make me want to take like 5 showers afterward.

(Classic Pabst by greenkozi)

Originally published at budgetsaresexy.com.