Cheapskate Etiquette: The Art of Polite Penny-Pinching

Living below your means takes creativity, but it’s important to do so without crossing the line into rudeness. Cheapskate etiquette means being frugal with yourself while still being generous with others. Whether you’re splitting the bill or tipping for services—even when using coupons—here’s how to save money without offending anyone. Let’s dive into some common situations where frugality meets politeness.

Face it, living below your means—especially in today’s inflationary times—requires creativity and cleverness. But how far can you stretch a buck before crossing the line between being frugal and being rude? When in doubt, always ask yourself: “Is my choice to be cheap going to harm or insult someone else?” and “Will I leave behind a fragrance or an odor?”

Here’s my best advice: be cheap with yourself, but generous with others. When splitting the cost, always round up. Never freeload in the name of frugality. If you can’t afford to pay your way, don’t go. When it comes to tipping, understanding the basics of tipping etiquette and how much to tip can make a big difference. When in doubt, always err on the side of generosity.

Dining Out the Cheapskate Way

Tipping at a Restaurant

Wondering how much to tip at a restaurant? Pay the tip on the total for food and beverages before tax and before deducting any coupons or gift certificates. It is customary to pay 15 percent for good service.

How to Split the Bill with a Group

When eating out with a group, always ask the server for a separate check before you order. If that’s not possible, position yourself to receive the bill, and calculate exactly what you owe—including tax and a generous tip on your portion. You might say, “I’ll cover my share and leave a tip based on the full amount,” then place your money on the bill and pass it along with a smile.

What to Tip with a Coupon

When using a restaurant discount coupon, calculate your gratuity based on what the full price of the meal would have been, before the discount and tax. For good service, aim for at least 15 percent—it’s the standard. This ensures the server is properly compensated for their service.

Handling Tip Jars

Tip jars, especially at coffee shops, can be awkward. I was at a coffee shop with a complicated order—think “half-caf, soy milk, extra hot.” Feeling a bit guilty, I dropped a dollar in the tip jar and joked with the barista, “Here’s a little something for surviving my coffee chaos!” The barista chuckled and said, “You just made my day!”

Here’s the deal: tipping here is optional, no matter how mandatory it seems. For complex orders, a tip is usually well-deserved. For a simple cup of joe, though, it’s perfectly fine to skip it.

 

• MORE: The Ultimate Restaurant Menu Cheat Sheet

When and How Much to Tip for Services

Tipping at a Makeover Counter

Having a free makeover at the cosmetic counter? If you buy a product, no tip is required. But if you don’t, or the artist spends more than 15 minutes with you, a $15 tip is appreciated.

Bellman and Bag Tips

Yes, you should tip the bellman. The going rate is $1 per bag, or $2 if the bags are heavy. Of course, you can always opt to carry your own luggage and skip the tip entirely.

Tipping at the Spa

Yes, you should definitely tip! If you’re using a spa gift certificate, it’s a good idea to check if the gratuity is already included. If it’s not, plan to leave a tip of 10-15% of the treatment’s value, split among the staff who took care of you.

• MORE: DIY Spa Day at Home: 6 Easy Treatments to Pamper Yourself

Beautician Tips for Unsatisfactory Service

Even if you’re not thrilled with your haircut or color, it’s still important to leave a tip. Aim for at least 15% of the service fee. If you’re unhappy, speak calmly with your stylist—they can often make adjustments or offer styling tips to improve the result. Remember, tipping is about acknowledging the effort and work put into your service.

The Do’s and Don’ts of Tipping for Home Deliveries

Tipping for Food Delivery

For food deliveries—like pizza or that big takeout order—plan to tip 10-15% of the bill. For smaller deliveries, like pizza, a minimum of $2 to $5 is appropriate, depending on the size and complexity of the delivery (like weather conditions or multiple stops).

What About Furniture or Large Item Delivery?

Tipping for furniture deliveries isn’t the same as tipping food delivery, but it’s still appreciated when the crew goes above and beyond. For small items delivered to a first-floor apartment, $5 is usually sufficient, but for larger, heavier items, a tip of $20 or more is appropriate. If the delivery team assembles your furniture, even if it’s a simple job, consider tipping at least $20. For more challenging deliveries, like navigating multiple flights of stairs or working in extreme weather, plan to tip $20 per person, or more. If the crew provides exceptional service, such as being patient or going the extra mile, an additional tip is well deserved.

From Wedding Gifts to Engagement Rings

Can’t Attend a Bridal Shower or Wedding?

According to etiquette expert Emily Post, it’s perfectly fine to skip sending a gift for a bridal shower you can’t attend—just be sure to send your regrets. But if you’re invited to the wedding and can’t make it, Post’s timeless advice is clear: you should definitely send a gift.

Cash as a Wedding Gift?

Absolutely! According to etiquette expert Emily Post, cash gifts are perfectly acceptable. With many millennials tying the knot later in life, they often already have fully stocked homes and prefer cash to help with savings or that dream honeymoon. There’s no hard-and-fast rule for how much to give, but most experts agree that the typical wedding gift—whether cash or a physical item—falls between $50 and $75. So, give what feels right!

Tipping Your Wedding Officiant

Performing weddings and funerals usually fall outside a minister’s regular duties. Yes, you should pay the wedding officiant a minimum of $250, according to TheKnot.com—more if travel is involved. The same goes for presiding over a funeral, and in either case, a gift in place of cash isn’t appropriate.

Even if your pastor is officiating as part of their role, it’s still important to offer a gratuity. A minimum of $100 is suggested, with extra consideration for travel. Again, a gift in lieu of cash just doesn’t fit the occasion.

Who Keeps the Engagement Ring After a Breakup?

Etiquette (and the law in most cases) dictates that the ring belongs to the person who paid for it, regardless of who called off the engagement.

• MORE: 14 Readers Share Their Best Frugal Wedding Tips for How to Say I Do on a Dime

 

Question: Have you ever faced a situation where you felt you were expected to tip more than you thought was fair? What did you do? Let us know down in the comments.

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Originally published at everydaycheapskate.com.